adambooz:

I really need some help. This seems to be the only place that I can actually discuss my true feelings for people and all that jazz. I just started school as a freshman this year. The day before school everyone got to meet each other at this orientation meeting. I’m still trying to get a hold out my sexual orientation, but at the moment absolutely no one knows that I have feelings for guys. Sometimes I even make fun of the girly gay kids at my school. So anyways, at the meeting I was scanning the group of almost 200 people picking out girls… and guys. As I was scanning I was surprised to see this one guy staring at me already. The opening ceremony lasted a few hours and I kept looking to see if he was looking and I caught him at least three times. Later that day I was sitting with a bunch of my friends and he sat with all girls because no guys would let him sit with them. I felt horrible and started to feel something for him. My friends talked about how those girls were going to make him gay, and I just glanced at the floor and felt bad. Time moved on, and I secretly asked the girls that I knew that were friends with him about who he was. He was homeschooled which explains why he didn’t know anyone at school. We had some other connections with our parents too. (I can’t say due to purposes of someone finding out who I am) Well, three weeks later one of my female friends said she wanted to introduce me to someone. She dragged me right to this kid and I panicked like no other. We shook hands and he looks “straight” into my eyes for an awkward moment. We had a sweet, but short awkward conversation. Then I left and at the end of the day I was at my locker and I looked at his locked and he was looking straight towards me. To get out of the school I have to walk by his locker and he stood there doing nothing until I walked by and then I walked up to me and started talking. Another girl joined our convo. (BTW he only has all female friends) The girl made him feel me hair because everyone thinks my hair is SUPER soft. It was sorta awkward but I definitely enjoyed it. So i decided to invite him over to spend the night (taking a HUGE leap of faith there) and he told me he wasn’t allowed because his parents are really strict. One day I was SO close to sitting with him at lunch but I walked the other way at the last second. 

Then the unimaginable happened. I almost cried when I got home from school that day. Another boy walked up to him and the started talking. I watched closely for three days. Now there talk all the time. Onetime I saw the other boy’s hands on the guys I like’s shoulders, but there were facing each other. I died inside. I felt depressed for a long while. That’s when something changed. One day, every time I walked by him in school, the guy I like would say hey. I felt AMAZING! Also he followed me into the bathroom and at the urnail he talked to me. I usually never talk when I’m pissing cuz thats just weird. But no one else was there so i thought what the hell maybe ill go with it. So this weekend my best guy friend (not gay) tried to text this kid and the guy responded violently and said DONT repsond! I later found out he was about to call the police.

What the hell? This kid might be a little strange. After that thought I texted him and he responded very sweetly and we talk and I invited him to “try” to come over again, so hopefully that happens. BUT HERE’S WHAT BOTHERS ME. 

This kid was homeschooled, that means he has terrible social skills. He would die just to have one true good friend. He hasn’t really been exposed to how harsh and violent guys can be and thats why he is so nice. I am confused beyond repair. Whenever I get freetime I daydream about him all the time. I would do anything for this kid to like me. But idk if he does. Also, I don’t know if he is just trying to get a friend or what. I will definitely keep you guys all updated whenever something happens. So can anyone help? Thanks alot!